Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Quick! Somebody Needs Help

As a wife, mother, daughter, cook, chauffeur, and dynamic all-around woman, you are everyone’s go-to gal. Whenever the fridge is empty, the laundry room is full, or someone (including the dog) gets sick, it’s you who’s expected to step up, take charge, and fix it. Sure, you can handle the day-to-day. But for those times when things go dangerously awry, here’s how to really be clutch.

Splint a broken arm. The next time a little one (or Dad) falls off the play set, and you suspect he’s broken his arm, make an impromptu cast from a newspaper or magazine. Thick issues work best. (The September edition of Vogue, for instance, could splint a rhino leg.) Gently place his wrist palm down on top of it. Next, roll the magazine into a U-shaped cradle and secure with tape, bandage, or strips of cloth. Then get to the hospital.

Save a severed finger. If someone lops off the tip of their finger or toe with a kitchen knife or lawn mower, find the detached digit but don’t—repeat don’t—put it directly on ice. That could freeze and damage the tissue. Instead, wrap it in a clean, wet cloth, secure it in a plastic bag, and keep it in an ice-filled cooler until you reach the emergency room.

Restart a stalled heart. If you suspect someone is having a heart attack, call 911 immediately. Then while you’re waiting, try this: 1) Have them chew an 81mg aspirin; it’s a blood thinner; 2) Consider rubbing a pain cream like Bengay on their torso; preliminary research suggests its active ingredient (capsaicin) can stimulate nerves into quelling the attack. Of course, if the person is unresponsive, start CPR right away and continue until help arrives.

Give yourself (or Scruffy) the Heimlich. You probably know how to save another person from choking, but do you know how to save yourself—or a pet? If a piece of prime rib is caught in your esophagus, stand up, make a fist with one hand, and place the thumb side just above your navel. Using your other hand for extra force, press inward and upward with a quick, sharp thrust. If that doesn’t work, throw your weight forward over the back of a chair so the edge of the chair is driven into your abdomen. To save Scruffy from the same fate, use the same hand position as for yourself (below his rib cage). Apply firm, quick pressure on the abdomen until the Barbie head or whatever the heck he swallowed pops out. Accept his thankful licks.

Escape from quicksand. Should your trip into the bush to retrieve the team’s soccer ball drop you into a roiling bog, do this: Stretch out on your back, spread your arms wide, and move your legs in a circular motion until they come free. Then slowly do the backstroke out. Hey, don’t laugh, you never know where your Wonder Woman duties will take you!

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